On the demise of the Routemaster bus... and the rise of the bendy bus

As many of you will have noticed, the legions of stinking, noisy, decrepit 1950’s Routemaster buses are disappearing from our streets. In fact, the last normal route to have them, the 159, will say goodbye forever in a fortnight.

I live on the 38 route, which changed to new buses last week (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1847955,00.html). I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a bit sad to see the Routemasters go, but times have to change. They were so noisy that I had to turn up the telly every time one drove past – and I live on the fourth floor! They are distinctly disabled-unfriendly and there is no way to get a pushchair or a wheelchair on board. The air quality in my flat is noticeably better after just a week.

I spent twenty years having a recurring nightmare of falling down the stairs of one and onto the road whizzing by. Those bad dreams are gone forever – to be replaced by the curse of the Bendy Bus.

Let’s get this straight, Ken Livingstone – your bendy busses suck. They jam up the traffic every time they are near a traffic light, roundabout or corner; they fill up with angry pushchair-wielding Neanderthals fighting each other for space and taking no care of the rest of our ankles; they get stuck at every opportunity involving a sharp corner, and the drivers have taken the opportunity to cease stopping at any bus stop they fancy.

Transport for London like to tell us how quick and easy they are. If they are so quick then why have they been banned from claiming that they are quicker than the old ones? (if you don’t believe me see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4531057.stm ) In fact, on other routes (namely the 73 and 149), TfL have used their introduction to cut frequency whilst claiming they are maintaining the level of service (yes they do hold more people, but that doesn’t help when you are waiting for a bus for twenty minutes in freezing rain).

They claim the buses are more efficient as people must pay before boarding. This is a non-argument on two grounds. Firstly, the Routemaster had a conductor who would go round and collect the fares rather than everybody wait around to pay – and in the process make everyone feel safer. After all when was the last time you saw a bus driver help anyone? The conductors would even occasionally regale you with their singing “ability” (see http://www.sendrecords.org/artists.html ) or rapier wit. Secondly, it’s not a rise in efficiency they are engineering – it’s a rise in street crime. Would you get your wallet out in Hackney at night to buy a ticket from a machine? Thought not.

There is clearly a problem with the routes the Bendy Buses are running on with the use of “single man operated conventional double deckers” (normal buses to you and I), in that people can’t get on and off quickly enough. Hence why not run normal double deckers with a conductor? All this, of course, is when they aren’t catching alight (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/3557309.stm )

Worst of all, it seems that double-decker bendy buses exist… (see http://www.atlantic-coast.com/neoplan/jumbocruiser.htm ) How long before they bring them to London?